• Clay Jacobs

'Person of the Year' unqualified for Fast Food job

Updated: May 21


Jimmy Rickets can't believe it: After a prestigious award by the Time Magazine, he now doesn't have a job.


Coming off a recent stint as a Papa John's pizza delivery man, 2006 Person of the Year Jimmy Rickets is seeking new employment in the fast food industry.


Although awarded as a deserving “Person of the Year” back in 2006 by Time Magazine,

38-year-old Rickets finds himself relatively unemployable after his latest disenchantment with the well-known pizza franchise.


“Better ingredients, better pizza, my ass,” stated Rickets when asked about his recent

firing from Papa Johns. “Without me, Daddy John better count his days! Doesn’t he know who I am? I was Time Magazine’s Person of the Year for Christ’s sake!”


Although the accolade seemingly holds a lot of merit, Rickets is having a difficult time finding new employment.


“Well, Taco Bell said I was unqualified. Supposedly, Mexican food is a heck of a lot different from Italian,” said Rickets.


“These days, I’m waiting to hear back from The Golden Arches. That ice cream machine technician gig sounded pretty sweet.”