Oklahoma Doomsday Preppers frenzy-buy Toilet Paper
Updated: May 21, 2022
In response to the newly cited 27th variant of the Coronavirus, Doomsday Preppers in
Oklahoma have once again cleared supermarket shelves of their remaining toilet paper
“If one thing’s for sure, there’s no way I’m gonna let a bunch of billion dollar corporations tell me what I can and cannot wipe my own ass with,” said Darrel Higgins, a member of the Oklahoma Chapter of Preppers United (OCPU), an organization in which unifies apocalyptic-ready individuals in the pursuit of everlasting freedom.
“From toilet paper to cotton swabs, if it can clean my rear end, I’m buying it. No doubt
about it,” stated Higgins.
When asked if he thinks the OCPU’s frenzy-buying of hygienic supplies has any effect
on the continued shortage, Higgins had this to say:
“Now listen, me stockpiling toilet paper and other “ass-sentials” should be the least of
your concerns regarding the shortage. The real villain is that damn Bezos,” Higgins
“Just consider this a fair warning to everyone who isn’t prepared and has failed at
covering their own ass. This is just a prelude to shit hitting the fan.”