• Clay Jacobs

Oklahoma Doomsday Preppers frenzy-buy Toilet Paper

Updated: May 21


Toilet paper and gas masks are ass-entials in the tool box of OCPU members. Photo: Erik Mclean / Pexels

In response to the newly cited 27th variant of the Coronavirus, Doomsday Preppers in

Oklahoma have once again cleared supermarket shelves of their remaining toilet paper

supply.


“If one thing’s for sure, there’s no way I’m gonna let a bunch of billion dollar corporations tell me what I can and cannot wipe my own ass with,” said Darrel Higgins, a member of the Oklahoma Chapter of Preppers United (OCPU), an organization in which unifies apocalyptic-ready individuals in the pursuit of everlasting freedom.


“From toilet paper to cotton swabs, if it can clean my rear end, I’m buying it. No doubt

about it,” stated Higgins.


When asked if he thinks the OCPU’s frenzy-buying of hygienic supplies has any effect

on the continued shortage, Higgins had this to say:


“Now listen, me stockpiling toilet paper and other “ass-sentials” should be the least of

your concerns regarding the shortage. The real villain is that damn Bezos,” Higgins

profoundly stated.


“Just consider this a fair warning to everyone who isn’t prepared and has failed at

covering their own ass. This is just a prelude to shit hitting the fan.”

 

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